Death, Re-Birth and Transformation.

Oliver Sale, whom I consider to be a long-term collaborator and soul-friend, recently wrote a blog post where he reflected on his journey at this moment:

https://www.oliversaledance.com/blog/new-cycle-new-touchstones-new-talisman-newsletter?fbclid=IwAR0SeTfor66z4drhATKWa54CdoVAys9Smfybf2VkBK1Thk13oDUMURTBdYo

He unpacks the "Touchstones and Talisman. The Touchstones are three powerful words produced by the process, and the Talisman is an image that captures your Touchstones in a moment. Between the two, you find a representation of who you are, who you want to be, and what you want to make, and I think this is incredibly stunning and intimate process."

After reading Oliver's post, it inspired me to contemplate on where I am currently at in my journey, and what my Touchstones and Talisman would be. If September Maybelle looked at where January Maybelle was just 9 months ago, she would have been so proud of herself for the self-growth, self-improvement, no-bullshit attitude and straightforward kindness she has learnt to develop. She realised what nourishes her and cut the ties that no longer serves her best interest.

I sometimes enjoy referring to myself as a third person, be able to step outside of my own head and see myself from someone else's point of view. It is important to not get caught up in your own thoughts, because it will just lead to a downward spiral (most of the time, not good at all). However, through the self-evolution, I realised that my ambitions, dreams and goals and what constitutes 'Maybelle' has changed. Here's a summary:

January Maybelle craved for stability. September Maybelle now craves for stability and curiosity.

January Maybelle was impatient. September Maybelle realises that events and time cannot be forced.

January Maybelle used to think that kindness is a weakness. September Maybelle now thinks that kindness is a virtue.

January Maybelle used to be afraid of herself. September Maybelle is now growing to be more self-aware.

January Maybelle wanted recognition. September Maybelle earns her recognition through authentic communication.

January Maybelle was afraid of speaking her truth to avoid offending people. September Maybelle realises to keep the right people around, she must speak her truth at all times.

January Maybelle wanted to be in a company so that she could be a professional dancer. September Maybelle is now scratching her head wondering if that will bring her fulfilment.

When I began writing down my thoughts on the Touchstones and Talisman, it unlocked a really personal side of me that I have always acknowledged, but never took the time nor opportunity to really delve into it. Oliver wrote "you can't produce the work of your dreams if you don't know what your dreams are, or who the dreamer is for that matter". That was the sentence that I needed to unpack.

It was a vulnerable, intimate process of opening my-self up to my-self. In my artistic practice, and daily life, I work with 3 core themes/words: empathy, community and authenticity. Those were the words that emerged from various people that I have met, where they have opened up to me on what they thought of me. I thought that it encapsulated who I am, and want to be. But right now, I am wondering if those are still applicable today. At this point, in this moment.

Those 3 themes still resonates with me today, but I feel like I can be specific and go deeper into the new Touchstones I have chosen for myself:

Seeker. Soul. Symbiosis.

The Talisman that encapsulates my Touchstones in a moment, would be 'The Fool' card in the Tarot deck.

Seeker - I am a seeker by nature. I have a curiosity inside of me that can only be quenched with knowledge, growth, improvement, the need to understand the way things happen and why they happen. Through books, authentic connections, and conversations that arise from people I have met along the way, I have discovered that I am happiest when I am pursuing or seeking.

Soul - I used to find this word really godly, and I still do till this day but I see this word as an opportunity of pursuit. When I searched up on the Thesaurus on the associations with this word, the term 'empathy' came up. With my artistic practice, spiritual journey as well as who I want to become - I want to be a an empathetic, soulful person. I want to nourish myself and my soul with things/events/people that fulfils me, and stay true to my authentic self.

Symbiosis - Like a positive feedback loop (engineering terminology, thanks to my partner), we circulate positivity around like a symbiotic cycle. What goes around comes around, and it holds steadfastly true to all of the connections and energies we project out into the world. If I can inspire people with the art and authenticity of my soul that is translated through my creations, teachings and/or performance, then it flows. Like a river, the current never stops. I want to be that river that never stops, and to nourish people through my art.

Lastly, the Talisman that I have chosen is 'The Fool' card in the Tarot Deck. I have become increasingly fascinated with Tarot, and have started to take my daily practice more seriously as the messages that brings forth to me always has a message that I needed to hear at that time. To summarise, The Fool is also number '0', aka the figure of unlimited potential and usually symbolises new beginnings, innocence, spontaneity and a free spirit. However, when the card is drawn out in a reversed position, it means holding back, recklessness and risk-taking. I feel like this card encapsulates me at this very moment with where I am currently in my journey as I discover more about myself and what fulfils me. I realise that I am most fulfilled when I am serving the needs of the community, hence why I enjoy teaching most of the time. I enjoy helping people and empowering people by using my knowledge, innate gifts and natural skills to hopefully, inspire them to believe in their own powerful beings and soul that resonates with each and every one of us.

I would like to thank Oliver Sale for his words, uploading the post at the time that he did, and for the endless and unwavering support in our 6 years of friendship. I hope that we continue to nourish one another, as we embark on our own individual journeys towards knowing ourselves better.

In addition, I would also like to credit Rachel Strickland, the creator of The Audacity Project that helps to mentor and give direction to those who are seeking to grow, evolve and be greater than before. Here is the link to her website and The Audacity Project (have heard loads of good things, do check it out):

https://www.madamerex.com/

P.S. I will be extending this post into another one, with more intimate thoughts and why I am drawn to The Fool card. It is a visual, so I have to do it justice. But at the same time, I would not be doing justice if I did not unpack exactly why. In the meantime, enjoy! Stay soft and curious.